The other day I looked at myself in the mirror, and I almost did not recognize myself. My eyebrows had all but grown together, my skin was so dry it was flaking in patches, and my hair was in a Mom ponytail on top of my head. I live in my sweats and save jeans for special occasions. If you put me under a UV light I would light up like a Christmas tree from all the biological materials that I have on my shirt at any given time.
I can admit that I am usually a casual person, but I began to miss a glamour that I never had. I mourned a life that I never lived. It always seems like the grass is greener no matter what side you are on. I am now a Mom, but now that does not make me just a Mom. I am still everything I was before. I just need to remember that I can take the time to be beautiful. I can take a shower and dress like a human and not the sweat suit monster I have become.
There is a flip side to this. I think of my insecurities about my looks, and I realize that my son looks a lot like me some days. How can Roman be so handsome and just an all around adorable kid and still look like me? There is a lie there somewhere, and since everyone he comes in contact with wants to put him in their pocket, I think it is with my perception of me. When did we lose ourselves to the perception of others? At what point in our lives did we stop living for ourselves and start living for what others think of us? Being a mother has made me think about all these things. I put it out here on my blog because I know I'm not alone...
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