I have never been given so much advice in my life. I had
debated whether I should say anything on this subject or keep my trap shut. In
the end this is my blog and I can say what I want. If anyone is offended… well
you know… I still love you.
Since becoming a mom people have been giving me advice on
everything. On one hand it is great to know people care enough to tell me
something to make my life easier. On the other hand it is like being told: You
don’t know what you are doing. So, do it my way. I know what’s best. One of the
most beautiful things about being a mom is the constant sense of discovery.
This includes learning your baby and what works best for the both of you. I keep
myself sane by having conversations with likeminded moms. They give me the reassurance
I need to know that I am not the worst parent ever and my baby hates me. That
not going with what my parents did or the cultural norm is ok. I am who I am. I
won’t judge the way you choose to parent because that is your right and it is
not my place. I have to learn what motherhood looks like to me. I have
beautiful women in my life who parent in completely different ways, but I
consider them all to be great moms. They have the most amazing kids, but they
are amazing in different ways. The commonality I see is that they are all given
room to let their own personalities blossom. In sharing with likeminded
individuals we will find our way as mothers. Through love not advice, and in
our own time.
Back to the heart of the matter. So, how do I handle unwanted
advice givers? I handle them with all
the passive aggressive love I can muster. It’s that or slap them with a dirty
diaper. (I always have those on hand.) Seriously though I find the thing that I
admire most about them as a person. Then I ask for advice about that thing I
admire and I would like to incorporate into my life. It can be anything a
recipe, an exercise routine, financial planning, or gardening. It doesn’t
matter. It’s that or a diaper slap. I choose to be more loving.
Oh, and for the people who ask if your baby sleeps through
the night, and gives you the pity face when you say no… be careful we are tired
and cranky. You can get a diaper too!
