Can I be honest? I can because it's my blog and I can say what I want. Moms have bad days. There were several moments during my pregnancy when I was just like Are you kidding me? Everyone always talked about how wonderful pregnancy was and how you would glow from this beautiful experience. Yeah right! I was a sweaty, irritable mess. They don't tell you about hemorrhoids, peeing when you laugh or sneeze because there is a tiny human jumping on your bladder, or fainting at the worst moments ( my chipped front tooth can attest to that) They don't tell you that, no they tell you how you are going to glow. People always talk about the beautiful side of motherhood, and they don't speak of the worry, the depression, the need to self-medicate with wine( ask any Mom about the book club and she will deny it).
Moms get a bad rep. There is no time to sit in front of the tv eating bonbons while you try to remember which kid needs to be where? Who needs to eat(child, fish, cat, dog, turtle, you)? What's for breakfast, lunch second breakfast, dinner? Where is the biggest mess that I need to tackle? Should I just hose the kids off outside, so I don't have to clean the bathroom again? How do I not ruin my kids lives today? There is a list of things to do that is the equivalent of pi (neverending). But, you must endure it all with grace looking runway-fierce... I'm sorry, but that is a sure fire way to lose your mind.
Having a bad day is one thing. Have a glass of wine and a long soak in the tub and you can shake it off. Now, when the bad days start to run together, and you start using your outside voice inside to everybody, and you start picking fights with your partner over not changing the toilet roll... You need a break. Because at this point you can soak in a bathtub full of wine and it would not help. Find a sitter, invoke the grandparent's clause, You need backup! Take a day or two and just be with your spouse. It can work wonders for your attitude. I'm not saying that this is the answer to everything. Some people don't even know what's wrong. That takes some work to find yourself and remember what used to bring you joy or find something new. The absolute best thing you can do for yourself is to stop worrying what others think about you. Do what's right for you and your family.
I love you my awkward friends until next time.
Thursday, September 8, 2016
Saturday, September 3, 2016
My Latest Obsession.
Sorry, my awkward friends for the late post. I guess Saturday is the new Thursday. Well for this week at least. Okay, so for those who know me you know my interests are varied, and I can research things until I know so much about it that I'm sick of it then it is on to the next one.
At the moment my obsession is genealogy. It wasn't until I had R.J. I began to think about those who came before me. I had thought about genealogy before but, I did not have the patience to sift through all those names.
So, that was what I was doing Thursday when I should have been blogging for you. I was at the library sifting through names. It is so awesome the first time you make a discovery about people in your family, and you think about just how much gets passed down in your DNA. How do you get started building your family tree? It all starts with you. The easiest way to build your family tree is to work from the present backward. Go from you and you parents to their parents and so on. Go back as far as you can with what you can learn from family members. Just remember that memories can be fuzzy, and you will have to play detective.
People ask me all the time how I find all the information I do without paying a cent. Well, I have a few tricks up my sleeve that I will share with you. There is a website that can help you map your tree and search information for free www.familysearch.org is run by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The site is completely free, and it helps you organized your work. You can also place the items you find in your search directly in a source box for later use. I think my biggest source of information and documents is www.ancestry.com. I know what you are thinking. Ancestry.com you have to pay for that. Most of the time that is true but, this is why it pays to know all the services your local library provide. At the Chicago Public Library, you can use Ancestry for free. Now this is only good for the computers in the actual library. The library also has other resources you can use. As an African American, it is difficult to find information further than 1860. Certain libraries have information on microfiche like slave schedules, and old newspapers. Check your city's libraries to find what's available to you.
Here are the resources I use most often:
Family stories and memories.
Pictures
Birth and death certificates both have information about parentage and important dates
Property records can let you find names on deeds of passed down family properties
The Census is great information and don't just look at your family on the census page check the pages before or after and you just may find other relatives.
So go out and make your tree fuller Awkward ones.
At the moment my obsession is genealogy. It wasn't until I had R.J. I began to think about those who came before me. I had thought about genealogy before but, I did not have the patience to sift through all those names.
So, that was what I was doing Thursday when I should have been blogging for you. I was at the library sifting through names. It is so awesome the first time you make a discovery about people in your family, and you think about just how much gets passed down in your DNA. How do you get started building your family tree? It all starts with you. The easiest way to build your family tree is to work from the present backward. Go from you and you parents to their parents and so on. Go back as far as you can with what you can learn from family members. Just remember that memories can be fuzzy, and you will have to play detective.
People ask me all the time how I find all the information I do without paying a cent. Well, I have a few tricks up my sleeve that I will share with you. There is a website that can help you map your tree and search information for free www.familysearch.org is run by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The site is completely free, and it helps you organized your work. You can also place the items you find in your search directly in a source box for later use. I think my biggest source of information and documents is www.ancestry.com. I know what you are thinking. Ancestry.com you have to pay for that. Most of the time that is true but, this is why it pays to know all the services your local library provide. At the Chicago Public Library, you can use Ancestry for free. Now this is only good for the computers in the actual library. The library also has other resources you can use. As an African American, it is difficult to find information further than 1860. Certain libraries have information on microfiche like slave schedules, and old newspapers. Check your city's libraries to find what's available to you.
Here are the resources I use most often:
Family stories and memories.
Pictures
Birth and death certificates both have information about parentage and important dates
Property records can let you find names on deeds of passed down family properties
The Census is great information and don't just look at your family on the census page check the pages before or after and you just may find other relatives.
So go out and make your tree fuller Awkward ones.
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