Why I Didn't Breastfeed.

Breastmilk in my most humble opinion is the most nutritionally perfect food you can feed your baby. We live in a time in history where women have the choice whether or not to breastfeed. If a woman chooses not to breastfeed, then that is her choice. The reverse is also true. There should never be any shaming for the way a woman decides to feed her child. There should never be any shaming when women choose to breastfeed in public either. Babies don't wait until it is convenient to be fed. When they are hungry, they will let you know and loudly. That's what breasts are for; there is no shame in nourishing a child. Okay, off my soapbox I go.

This post is in honor of World Breastfeeding Week.

Now, what about the women who want to breastfeed and don't produce enough milk or simply can't. Well, this is my story. My son was born via emergency C-Section. I saw him briefly before he was carted away to the NICU. I did not see him again until the next day. I wasn't given a pump until the day after that despite repeated requests. My son was given formula without my permission. Could this have contributed to my not being able to breastfeed....maybe.

 Two things I contribute to not being able to breastfeed are diet and shame. To breastfeed your body needs enough nutrients to create the perfect food for your baby. People don't tell you how much you need to eat to make milk. My daily calorie consumption was not a healthy amount for me to live on let alone another human.  The second contributing factor shame is a bitter pill to swallow. I had read all the books about breastfeeding. I felt so much pride that i just knew that I was going to have the most wonderful breastfeeding experience. Well, that didn't work out as planned. I remember sitting on the living room floor crying staring at the receptacle that was supposed to hold my milk supply. The wasn't even half a teaspoon of milk in there. I can also remember trying so hard to get my son to latch, and he would just turn his head away. Shame was a big part of how I felt. I would make hang up calls to La Leche League trying to get the courage to say "I can't feed my child."  I could have talked to the doctors. I didn't reach out because of shame. I lost out on a wonderful experience because I was worried what someone might think of me. That was the real shame. There is so much help out there. Don't be like I was. Ask for help if you need it.